I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I could fuck to npr.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
