Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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