11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We have started to decorate penises.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
