HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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