I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
