You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
