Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
