You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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