I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
