tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My pussy is not your playground.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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