Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize