Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
