Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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