It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
