we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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