Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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