she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
