uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
