I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
