whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
