I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
