its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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