That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
