yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
