I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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