Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize