Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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