We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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