The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
