No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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