yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
