she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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