you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
