omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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