Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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