Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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