Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am naked and annoyed.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
