Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
