dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
