Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
