Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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