I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
