Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
