Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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