Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Randomize
