Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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