quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize