i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
