i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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