So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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