You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
