I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
