i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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