he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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