Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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