I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
