Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She bit a glass in half.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize