Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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