i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize